May 2009

Techno Whiz

This is a test of the non-emergency Blobcast system…

Not much Blobbin’ tonight because I’m trying, for the first time, to
take pictures in and around the studio, and then post them to the
Blob…it’s not like it’s rocket science but I have a few things to
work out….like not uploading a GIGANTIC-sized picture that eats up
hard drive space, which is what I did during my first upload test…then, the 2nd time, I re-sized the picture and it was still humongous!  Here’s hoping the third time’s the charm….

FirstBlob 003.jpgFirstBlob 004.jpg

Third time IS the charm!  Pic on the left is what I see when I look at you!  And as you can see, your view of
the set is far better than mine of the studio!

And the pic on the right is a shot of the small TV that’s mounted inside the desktop…you can’t see it but I can!  It’s under the dark plexiglass on the desktop right in front of me.

And now, a final test as I go up in pixel size from 200 to 500…stand by…

FirstBlob 014.jpg

It worked!  That’s a far bigger picture and a beautiful one at that…Pre & Post game producer Bill Boland pointing at a monitor in front of him, no doubt, saying “Wow, isn’t that a great guy to work with?!”  OR “Look at the size of Lorenz’s head tonight!  That’s a gigantic melon!” 

By the way, the best part of the picture is the wonderful Boland family on the screensaver…as you can see, Bill hit the family lotto…the lovely Christa…and their 2 daughters are like happy rays of sunshine.  As for Bill…umm…I like his shirt.  I know he’s gonna read this, so I couldn’t resist!

That’s my test for tonight…let me know what you think…pics bigger or smaller or just right.
And for all of you out there to whom this applies….HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Gone…In a Flash!

It’s been 4 days of wisdom, insight, good times…and piles of plain M&M’s destroyed by one John Flaherty.  His week in studio began Monday…he came in with a dietary vengeance… in laser-like focus…salads, lean chicken, fresh vegetables…all to get lean, mean and physically obscene with summer approaching…

And now, 4 days later…well, he has M&M’s coming out of his ears…and I feel dirty.  Though I put chocolates, candies, etc. on the coffee table in my office for the good of all mankind that walk through these doors…what I saw was the steel resolve of a good man melted down by small, happy, colorful chocolates that melt in your mouth, not in your hand.  I should apologize to him on this, his final night in studio before his imminent return in July, and I will…as soon as he gets all those M&M’s out of his ears so he can hear the apology.  But right now, they’re spilling all over the floor in my office!

Balancing Act  Doing my due diligence, I occasionally scan the message board at yesnetwork.com and other Yankees websites to check the pulse of the tremendous Pinstriped fandom…Let me share the following message from last night with you, because I was trying to find a silver lining from last night’s loss to the Rays on the Postgame:

“Tex came up with that big double in the 8th”

YEA LORENZ HOW DID HE DO WITH A MAN ON 3RD AND 1 OUT YOU M0R0N???

Gotta love the spin by the YES network.

That at bat in the 10th by tex epitomizes everything that is wrong with this teams approach at the plate.

I have no problem with that.  I encourage ALL to write what they feel…as I always say, it’s America!  And I love it…freedom of speech.  But I have to say this…If we do an entire postgame show that does nothing but dump on the Yankees, no one’s gonna watch.  I feel it’s my job in the driver’s seat to talk about the bad that caused the loss…no doubt…but also to see if there’s anything good that might give Yankees fans hope.  I have to find a balance.  Again, bottom line, 45 minutes to an hour of mind-battering negativity is not good television…  and viewers would rather watch a Snuggie commercial 100 times in a row….or the ShamWow commercial…or even the bearded guy who yells at all of us (can’t remember his name right now….wait, Billy Mays, I think).

Oh, PS…I strongly prefer to be called DingFob, Wingnut or Knucklehead…to Moron.  But that’s just me!

PSS  Flaherty just claimed that as soon as he walks out of my office tonight and gets back to his routine, he’ll shed 7 pounds in a Flash (pun intended)…I’m not so sure…I hear the beep, beep, beep of the forklift coming down the hallway, with another pallet-full of M&M’s. 

I Kept Up With The Jones…Live!

I am more than just a bit excited right now, and I think Flash shares my emotion to a slightly lesser extent (I think he’s coming off a sugar high from the chocolates on my table he said he wouldn’t eat), because Kim Jones answered one of OUR questions on her live chat tonight!  Kim, words cannot express my gratitude that you would include lil’ ol’ me and Flash as part of your ever-growing and rapidly expanding media empire!

Uh…PS Kim…in answering Flash’s question on the pregame about the one meal you’d treat yourself to on a “cheat” day…Diet Coke for a drink?!  We know you better than that!  And that’s all I’m sayin’!

Oh, and uh…PSS Kim…you listed Pete Abe’s LoHud, Neil Best’s Watchdog and Mark Feinsand as your favorite blogs…funny, ’cause I thought your colleague and erstwhile on-air BFF Bob Lorenz was doing a blog this year, no?…

ronblogblob.jpgI Have Urgent, Breaking Food News  Cannonball!!!!!  I just could not escape the Ron Burgundyism there…but seriously, “sources” tell me that today, during the taping of a soon-to-be-seen episode of CenterStage on YES, Michael Kay had to do what those who know him or have read KJ’s blogging about him, would consider is the unthinkable.

Here’s the deal…Kay knowers and KJ’s followers know that Michael hates in every way, shape and form, any sort of condiment on any sort of food…no ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo, nothing!!!!…EVER!  Well, “sources” tell me that his guest on one of the shows, the chef Emeril Lagasse, brought Michael a special gift…paninis with chili mayonnaise…What to do?!  Can one tell the famous Emeril, “Oh, no thanks.”  I don’t think so!  So Michael actually took a bite of the panini with chili…gulp…mayo…double gulp.  Had to be reminiscent of the episode of Spongebob when Squidward ever so painstakingly took the smallest bite of a Krabby Patty…and ended up loving it!  But what about Michael?  Well, all I can tell you is that “sources” say he looked like the rest of us would look if we had to eat a spider.  That’s a loosely based quote.  So, America wants to know now…what did Michael think?  And will he be OK?!  I will ask him at some point tonight and report back…

Famous Chocolate  Just got done with the cut-in between the 4th and 5th inning…and when we went back to the Stadium, Michael wondered aloud what Flash and I had been chowing down on since Monday, and how much.  He then went on to mention the Easter Egg hunt like qualities of all the chocolates in my office!  Great reference!  I wonder if Michael likes chocolate and which of the Big Four (Reg. Hershey’s, Krackel, Mr. Goodbar and Special Dark) he would eat…this intrepid reporter/purveyor of fine chocolate will find THAT out as well and get back to you…

Morning Breath

8:15pm  Ladies and Gentlemen, you are awesome!  Nearly all the comments I read knew that Dexy’s Midnight Runners sang Come on Eileen!….and guess who else knew?  That’s right…right after I Blobbed the question, Flash waltzed into my office and I asked him…he sat down in his customary spot on the long couch to my left (yes, the cushions have molded to him already)  and he said, without hesitation I might add, “Dexy’s Midnight Runners”.  I asked how he knew that right away, and he said it was one of his favorite MTV videos back in the day…runnin’ around in their denim overalls.  Who knew?!

BTW, Flash went with a sliced chicken, tomato and mozzarella salad tonight, drizzled lightly with olive oil…remember, he’s working on his beach body…I bet we see him down at Venice Beach in CA this summer, throwin’ iron around and bodysurfing.  But he tells me he might break down and have a few pieces of chocolate.
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OK, that headline sounds more disgusting than it really is…but let’s be honest, we’ve all been victim of morning breath…or victimized by it. And who could blame any of us who stayed up for the game last night, and then the postgame (Flash and I kinda HAD TO), if we were functioning at a little less than 100 percent, right?  Now, I’m a night owl anyway, but my sleep pattern was disrupted enough that I fell asleep around 3 a.m., then woke up again at 4:45 a.m….drifted off into some psychotic-filled dream state…then got out of bed at 7:05 a.m. to make sure my daughter got the donuts I bought her at 2:15 a.m. … A double chocolate donut and a strawberry iced donut…Breakfast of Champions in the Lorenz household…washed down with a Sunny D and, to stay in the peak of shape, a multi-vitamin. I make sure the kids eat right! It’s all about balance.

Awesome Tune-age!  Now, I would never go for the “woe is Bob” approach to working late, especially since a few of you Blobbers out there, I’m sure, tore it up ’til WAY past my 3:00 a.m. crash…but, driving home at 2:15 a.m., one could conceivably get drowsy. Not me, however…not last night (this morning).  Two reasons…first, while flipping around the radio dial…I came across a little ditty some of you 1980s aficionados know as “Come On Eileen.” (Bonus points for naming the band who sings it!…I’m gonna check your comments for the answer…and don’t Google it!) 

Now, seriously, is there anybody alive when that song comes on that DOESN’T sing along to at least parts of it?  “Come on, Eileen Taloora Aye…come on…” You know the rest because you’re singing it right now!  And then, as I’m about 2/3 of the way home, comes another song to keep me buoyed…and I turn it up a little louder…a classic rock station…yes, it’s him…Joe Cocker, croaking out “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends”…Beautiful…I can picture the bodily contortions, eyes bulging, as he belches out the chorus line…and then the best part…near the end…when he wails or howls like he just slammed his fingers in a door…song over…I’m pulling into the driveway…Thank you, Joe…and Thank You Band That Will Be Named By One of the Blobbers tonight….

I’ll check in later (I’m gonna see if Flash has any CLUE who sang that song!)

Rain Brain Drain

Flash is here in studio…I’m all fired up for 4 days of working together, talkin’ baseball…AND THERE’S NO BASEBALL TO TALK ABOUT!  The weather forecast for the next week is absolutely ridiculous…I keep checking weather.com every 15 minutes or so, hoping magically something will change, but we look like we’re all in for it, don’t we?  Brutal.

I’m working on uploading pictures to The Blob.  If I did so right now, I’d upload the picture of Flash sitting on my couch…reclining, really…well, almost laying down…as we wait out the rain and watch Yankees on Deck.  I guess he’s really worn out by the healthy lean chicken salad dinner he ate!  C’mon, Man!  He’s going through one of his “I’m really watching what I’m eating” phases right now…(Meanwhile, we had rain-delayed Chinese food catered, so I threw down fried rice, broccoli, and several things that looked like chicken)….Flash’s goal is to get trim…no, ripped, he says.  I guess the guys who compete in Mr. America better watch out (if they still have that competition).  I think Flash is concerned because his body fat went up 1%…Wow.  Mine went up 5% in the last 20 minutes!  He is showing great restraint, I might add, walking back and forth past the candy on my office coffee table.  I’m impressed.  But I did ask him, because Blobbers need to know, which candy he WOULD eat if he were so inclined…and it’s the plain chocolate Hershey’s miniature that would have his fingerprints all over it.

KJ Can Hit the Curveball  Top of the show tonight, I asked Flash a couple questions, then tossed it out to Kim Jones at the stadium for her nightly report…First question was SUPPOSED to be about A-Rod, but I went with weather instead.  Unflustered, KJ does the latest weather report.  Meanwhile, I kick myself with a steel-toed boot.  Luckily, I finished just before Kim tossed back to me.  And how about Flash flashing his anchorman abilities?!  He transitions from talking about Phil Hughes to throwing it right back to KJ for her thoughts… there’s a Ron Burgundy in there just waiting to come out.

Hey, I’m a Weatherman!  Hope you got to see the weather update at 8:00pm.  I got to stand in front of the huge video wall on set and reference the latest weather radar, blown up on the screen behind me.  I haven’t done the weather since I went on the interview for my first TV job out of college…it was in Eureka, CA…the news director was Bruce Lang…and after I’d done a couple sports reads on camera as an audition, he told me to go stand in front of the weather board and vamp a fake weather forecast for about a minute and a half.  Just spur of the moment, think on your feet, ad-lib and don’t say something stupid…I just goofed around, made a reference to it being so cold that Nanook wouldn’t want to be in Eureka at that time, as I recall…and I guess it all worked out…I got the job…never to do weather again!  Ah, good times…good times.

Brief Halo Holiday

Great win last night…it’s an incredibly different feeling right now, isn’t it, when the Yankees get guys on base?  You get the feeling something’s going to happen, break loose, unlike just a week or so ago when they were struggling with RISP…And Jorge’s right…they are putting together some good, long AB’s…making the opposing pitcher work…Tex is part of that…now, let’s (and I think he’d agree) he starts adding some hit totals to the walk totals…if that happens, that O is gonna be even scarier for opponents.

The Blob is taking the weekend off…gotta get mentally prepared for Flash in studio for the Red Sox series starting Monday…haha…at that time, I’ll break out the new digi camera and try to catch the former catcher off-guard…if I can get a picture of him eating and post it to The Blob, I might actually beat Kim Jones to the punch on something when it comes to blogging!

Enjoy the games Saturday and Sunday…….only on YES!  (You should be hearing that promo in your sleep by now, along with the theme music to the Yankees Pre & Post Games!)

Channeling the Scooter

9:05pm  I just got back up to the set, in case there’s a rain delay (no, that’s NOT any sort of jinx!)  and when I told the studio guys that the gum story about Paul was in the Blob, I was reminded that it was Chris Luppe (Looper) who gets credit for a Mo-like save…unable to get to my office for a new piece of gum, Looper was kind enough to dip into his own gum stock and give me a new piece.  Meanwhile, Paulie wandered off to another part of the studio while I continued to berate him about what a bad teammate he is and what a great teammate Looper is…Ah, good times!

By the way, Flash’s comment during the game about me being very familiar with sports bars was very funny, even though Michael painted it as taking a shot at me…Let’s just say Flash has spent enough time around me to know that, if I was in a sports bar, I would not order plain chicken fingers and a tall soda!
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A great Friday night to ya…Because of the potential of a rain delay and a longer night for the crew here in the studio, Italian food was catered in…(thanks to whoever pays the bill at corporate!)…I threw down some Caesar salad, penne, a few chunks o’ sausage and peppers, and a little bit o’ grilled chicken.  But I saved the best for last…a sweet, delicious, lightly dusted cannoli!  When I go back upstairs for the 4th inning cut-in, I’m gonna check to see if there are any left…and if there are, God help anybody whose fingers are anywhere near those things!  Because I will consume those along with anything else that’s in or near the box.

On a related note, I just heard Paul O’Neill say there’s a fight for carrot cake in the media dining area at the Stadium…no match for the cannoli here and the bodily harm I might do if there’s one left and someone else making a run for it!

Now for the Gum Story  Two nights ago, I went up to the set early to pre-tape a segment of the Pregame show…now, this might sound a little weird, but usually I chew some gum prior to doing something like that…freshen the breath, loosen up the ‘ol jaw, I guess…and because I believe in conserving and economizing…I might just pop the gum onto its wrapper (I chew Stride), tape the segment of 4 or 5 minutes, then retrieve the same piece of gum from the wrapper and “re-purpose” it.  It’s still fresh, isn’t it?

Anyway, that night I put the gum way off to the side of the top of the anchor desk so it wouldn’t be seen on the wide shot.  But it could still be seen.  So Paul Ferrigno, the man on Camera 3, hopped over and tossed the gum into the trash.  (INSERT SOUND OF CAR WITH BRAKES SCREECHING AND THEN CRASHING INTO A POLE HERE!)  I looked at Paul and said in mock anger, “Dude!  Why did you throw out that gum?!  You didn’t even ask me!  You just threw it out!”  There was momentary concern and confusion on Paulie’s face…either that, OR he was tuning me out and thinking hard about what to have for dinner that night…but there was a pause and a look of concern.  However, he quickly realized that I was kidding (I, like Will Ferrell, a fellow Trojan, believe that mock anger makes for good comedy).  Anyway, I think the rest of the studio crew got a few good laughs out of me dogging Paulie.  Still, I’m gonna make him buy me, like, a $100 worth of gum.  He just doesn’t know it yet, unless he reads this!

Let’s Go To The Tape  A somewhat kinder, gentler moment came the same night when I walked out to the set and noticed a fresh piece of tape on the set next to the microphones I wear on my lapel.  (I wear one wireless plus another hardwired one as a backup).  The small square of tape, usually about 2 or 3 inches square, is to secretly secure the two mike wires inside my suit jacket so they don’t pop out on camera…that would be unsightly, ungentlemanly and very un-GQ…I asked aloud, in a delighted tone, “Hey, who gave me the new tape?”  It could have been Paul, or Cam 2 operator Chris Luppe, or even lights out light man George Greczylo…or perhaps even prompter operator Terry Drugan, Esq., if he’s feelin’ frisky…But the answer was none of the above…it was audio man Jim Rankowitz.  Good job, Jimmy!  And I was so delighted that, do you know what he did the next night I came in?  There was a fresh piece of tape (like yellow duct tape) on which Jim had written “Fresh Tape”.  That’s a pro…good stuff.  I see a tin and gonic, his favorite…courtesy of the Blob, in his future.